A love story for people who run from relationships.
HINGE PRESENTS
An anthology of love stories almost never told
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Foreword
Every couple forges their own tracks along the winding path of love, building on small (but no less significant) moments that make up their unique love story. But, it’s true, some are faced with more twists and turns than others. This anthology of modern romantic prose celebrates the plot twists of real love. It features the real-life beginnings of six couples who met on Hinge, written by six groundbreaking authors: stories of compromise, acceptance, and growth, camouflaged in chaos—to the utter shock of Cupid, who’s working hard to keep up with the present-day dating landscape.
As with all great literary romances, these stories will hold your hand and take you on an emotional journey. There are plenty of “Will they or won’t they?” moments, relationship roadblocks, casual-to-serious encounters, communication issues, dealbreakers (that then get broken), and canceled dates. There are also revelatory conversations, hidden love notes, periods of deep understanding, flowers that you have to ask for (but still love the same), and new (and old) possibilities.
It can be easy to take for granted how each small puzzle piece of a romance contributes to the ongoing picture. But it’s the imperfect beginnings, choosing each day to be in it together, that build toward a happily ever after. Finding a love that lasts today calls us to open our hearts to the unexpected ways it can manifest and welcome the little things that aren’t little (all while not sweating the small stuff). It won’t be too good to be true—it’ll be really perfect, because it’s perfectly real.
Playing Tag
he/theySuraj & Sivithashe/they
Matched on Hinge September 2022
WRITTEN BY R. O. Kwon
[01, SIVITHA:] We matched in April, but I didn't message him until September. I had to find someone for this double date, so I reopened the app and did a quick scroll. He was the most interesting.
[SURAJ:] There just weren't many South Asian people that I was talking to with the same vibe as me. So when she reached out, I felt like I had to meet her.
[02, SURAJ:] The town I grew up in was quite posh and homogeneous. There wasn't much diversity, so I was really shy and self-conscious. Being a model on set was good for my confidence and sociability, so I was exploring that journey for myself at the same time.
It began with Sivitha’s first Hinge date. She’d had no desire to go out that night in the London chill, mist clinging to the city’s lanterns. But her friend Joni was going on a date, and kept pressing Sivitha to join her at the same bar, with a date of her own. “Just come,” Joni said. “I want the company.”01
[01, SIVITHA:] We matched in April, but I didn't message him until September. I had to find someone for this double date, so I reopened the app and did a quick scroll. He was the most interesting.
[SURAJ:] There just weren't many South Asian people that I was talking to with the same vibe as me. So when she reached out, I felt like I had to meet her.
Sivitha was 20 years old and hadn’t yet seriously dated. Months ago, in a fit of activity, right after moving from her parents’ house to London, she’d signed up with several dating apps. She had plenty of matches, but then—what? She’d talked with people, traded jokes. Nothing more. Maybe later, she told herself. On nights when she did go out, if she didn’t have a shift at the bar, she preferred a club, with friends, dancing so long and hard the outlines of herself dissolved. Not sitting across a table from a stranger telling them, what, about her parents, her life hopes? No.
But while Joni urged her, Sivitha opened Hinge. On a whim, she messaged Suraj, someone she’d last spoken with six months ago. Was Suraj in London, and if so, did he want to get a drink?
Suraj lived in Brighton, an hour away, but he did happen to be in London for work. He hadn’t forgotten Sivitha. They’d had a rapport, both of them brown, with short, blond-streaked curls so similar they could have passed as siblings. Suraj had wondered why she’d gone silent, but, in the couple of years since he moved to Brighton at 21, had more than enough casual dating in his life. Having grown up as a shy, anxious kid in a largely white milieu, Suraj had been startled, at first, then delighted, to learn he, too, could be wanted.02 He didn’t plan on settling down anytime soon, and replied yes to Sivitha because why not? In her photos, she was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen.
[02, SURAJ:] The town I grew up in was quite posh and homogeneous. There wasn't much diversity, so I was really shy and self-conscious. Being a model on set was good for my confidence and sociability, so I was exploring that journey for myself at the same time.
Two dates in a row?
[03, SIVITHA:] I'm a Chelsea fan now. Never was before but, because I like him so much, I would put on the games for us to watch together. He quizzed me on players, and we started playing in the park. Now, it's just something we do together.
At the bar, on the side of the river, Suraj showed up in a beige trench coat. Dresses well, Sivitha thought, but a little full of himself. Suraj proposed wine, which Sivitha had never tasted; they got a bottle, and she tried a sip. “I like it,” she said. She looked, Suraj thought, just as she had in her photos. So few people did. He spun back and forth on his stool. Nerves, he’d later explain. But he didn’t have to fret: Sivitha, the more confident one of the two, found his twisting endearing. At the end of the date, they agreed to meet up again the next night.
Two dates in a row?
Their second date lasted so long, they kept moving from one bar to the next as each bar closed. On their third date, they went to Suraj’s flat. The flat was tidy, perhaps the tidiest home she’d ever seen. Suraj collected relics from his travels—glinting rocks, tchotchkes—which he kept in such meticulous order, sorted in neat, precise lines, that Sivitha texted her friend: what kind of person kept their flat so clean? Still, she found his lines of souvenirs appealing. She liked Suraj’s foibles, his little quirks. On Suraj’s couch, they sat talking, close enough that he didn’t shift much when he tilted toward Sivitha for a first kiss, his lips soft. Sivitha, Suraj thought, had a faint scent of salt, like home.
They spent the next nine months dating, getting to know each other, their tempo unhurried, thoughtful. On some nights, he’d make the one-hour trip into London from Brighton; for long weekends, she’d go stay with him by the sea. It felt so natural, talking. Sivitha was used to being able to chat easily with others, but unlike most people, Suraj didn’t lunge to talk—he listened, his attention full, large, like a clearing, as though he’d like to give her all the space in the world to say what she was thinking. Sivitha began learning about football, a sport she’d disliked, just to have that much more time at Suraj’s side.03Sivitha was a virgin until the night of Diwali, four months after they’d started dating. At Suraj’s uncle’s house, as candles and oil lamps flared gold, Sivitha and Suraj fell asleep in each other’s arms.
[03, SIVITHA:] I'm a Chelsea fan now. Never was before but, because I like him so much, I would put on the games for us to watch together. He quizzed me on players, and we started playing in the park. Now, it's just something we do together.
[SIVITHA:] Being able to connect with another brown and queer person made me feel understood and seen, which had never happened before. I had a different cultural upbringing than other people, but one that Suraj and I completely shared. He just understands.
Kiss and make-up already!
[SIVITHA:] Being able to connect with another brown and queer person made me feel understood and seen, which had never happened before. I had a different cultural upbringing than other people, but one that Suraj and I completely shared. He just understands.
[04, SIVITHA:] I wasn't seeing anyone else but Suj was, so it felt one-sided. When I did start seeing other people, we had a rule where we told each other everything. This was a terrible idea but it helped me realize that I actually loved him more than I thought.
[05, SURAJ:] When we got so involved, it caught me off guard. We're both really stubborn people, and the jealousy came out too. I would write love letters to make up with her, and then she would rip them up in the next argument, and vice versa. We have one framed on our wall.
It was going so well; Sivitha was taken aback by what Suraj suggested after nine months of dating: he’d like to open their relationship, he said. “You haven’t had other partners,” Suraj added. He was afraid she’d get bored. She might end up wondering, and, to be honest, Suraj hesitated, too, at the thought of being locked down so young. He wanted her to explore. More experience could be good for them both.
Sivitha refused. She didn’t want to date anyone else, and didn’t want anyone dating Suraj.04Months of confusion followed05—broken promises, tears, fights, painful silences, flowers left on doorsteps—until, one night Suraj came to her flat. They talked for hours, crying. “I only want to be with you,” Sivitha said. No more of other people, they agreed. Just them, Suraj and Sivitha.
[04, SIVITHA:] I wasn't seeing anyone else but Suj was, so it felt one-sided. When I did start seeing other people, we had a rule where we told each other everything. This was a terrible idea but it helped me realize that I actually loved him more than I thought.
[05, SURAJ:] When we got so involved, it caught me off guard. We're both really stubborn people, and the jealousy came out too. I would write love letters to make up with her, and then she would rip them up in the next argument, and vice versa. We have one framed on our wall.
It took some time to relax into trusting each other again, but after a while, they’d settled into the old, good rhythms. Car-boot shopping for vintage clothing from the ‘50s, garlic and chilis sizzling with the tomato sauce for the pasta, lying in bed talking. Enough with living apart, they decided, and began making plans to share a flat. The next day, waking up in London, Sivitha saw the sun was blazing.
“Outside,” she said to Suraj. It was the one fine day London might get all year, and they rushed out. They went to Primrose Hill, and stayed in the park all day. Suraj kicked a football, striking it up, up, keeping it in the air fifty times in a row. They raced; Suraj beat Sivitha. Played tag. The sun went down, without their quite noticing. It was past ten p.m., eleven p.m., and they couldn’t see a thing, but they kept running, and chasing, finding each other again and again.
Kiss and make-up already!
LOVE RELICS
[SIVITHA:] My God, it’s my shrine, it’s evolved a few times and things have been added and taken down. That’s the note that Suj wrote me when he came to my house after one of our big disagreements during our open relationship. He came to my house to talk things out and that note was in the flowers.
[SURAJ:] Yeah, and this is that same note after we had another argument and I ripped it up in frustration.
[SIVITHA:] And then I taped it back together and then, again, ripped it apart again after another argument. At that point, I felt bad, though, and we’ve kept it since all taped together on my shrine.
[SIVITHA:] Okay, so I’m not insane, but I found this random notebook open in Suraj’s room when we first started dating. I opened it on a spare page and just played around and made this doodle. I definitely didn’t tell him about it. I didn’t think he would ever find it, but he did and immediately took a picture and sent it to me.
[SIVITHA:] Suj does get me a lot of flowers. I love getting flowers, but I’m running out space to put them now. I just have random dead flowers hanging around my room all dried out, but he got them for me and I can’t bring myself to throw them away.
[SURAJ:] This is a page we kept from a mood board of a photoshoot we did together early on. It means so much to us to be in shoots and campaigns together because there just aren’t that many queer brown people that get represented and it feels so special to be a part of that, and that we found each other.
Nothing Serious
he/himRahul & Georgehe/him
Matched on Hinge March 2022
WRITTEN BY OISÍN MCKENNA
[GEORGE:] Rahul seemed very at ease in himself, a really chatty, intelligent, and funny person. He was a great listener, full of curiosity and openness, which I value. Also, he looked super cute in his glasses.
[RAHUL:] I instantly took a liking to his demeanor. He was very engaging throughout the date and would laugh with so much warmth. I remember it felt like time flew by that evening. Plus, he was polite to the waiter, which was my biggest green flag.
That doesn’t look like nothing serious.
[GEORGE:] Rahul seemed very at ease in himself, a really chatty, intelligent, and funny person. He was a great listener, full of curiosity and openness, which I value. Also, he looked super cute in his glasses.
[RAHUL:] I instantly took a liking to his demeanor. He was very engaging throughout the date and would laugh with so much warmth. I remember it felt like time flew by that evening. Plus, he was polite to the waiter, which was my biggest green flag.
[01, RAHUL:] This was my first experience of a romantic relationship. The idea of dating sounded freeing and my goal was to enjoy its ups and downs in a new city. I was looking for all the fun without the expectations.
[02, RAHUL:] Looking back, our Hinge conversations could not have been more dry. It's hilarious. I find it difficult to be flirtatious, so I was grateful to avoid the cringe I’ve felt in the past.
[03, George:] I had been in and out of hospital over the past year with severe but undiagnosed symptoms. It was a scary time and obviously impacted my ability to make new connections and think about what the next part of my life would look like.
What are you looking for? read the prompt on George’s Hinge profile.
His response was crisp and simple: nothing serious.
Rahul read it and smiled.
Good, he thought. Rahul didn’t want a serious thing either.01
[01, RAHUL:] This was my first experience of a romantic relationship. The idea of dating sounded freeing and my goal was to enjoy its ups and downs in a new city. I was looking for all the fun without the expectations.
George messaged. Rahul answered. They both worked in windowless offices, and bonded easily over the mutual deficit of daylight that plagued their working lives. George liked Rahul. He could tell from even his pictures that Rahul had a personality wedged between goofy and charming, confident and self-deprecating and this, to George, was unbearably hot.
They agreed to meet and had a fabulous time, but the problem was this: the timing was off.
Rahul had just moved to London. The city was big and alluring, and he wanted to get to know it without the trappings of a relationship to hold him back. He was still in the process of coming out: dating was new to him, and so was queer life in general.02He didn’t really know what he wanted, had not yet settled on his own sense of what he would find attractive in a partner. He had exploring to do. As for George, it was a hard time in his life. That year had been a long one. He was having problems with his health, his self-esteem had faltered. 03He didn’t feel good about himself and didn’t think anyone else could feel good about him either.
[02, RAHUL:] Looking back, our Hinge conversations could not have been more dry. It's hilarious. I find it difficult to be flirtatious, so I was grateful to avoid the cringe I’ve felt in the past.
[03, George:] I had been in and out of hospital over the past year with severe but undiagnosed symptoms. It was a scary time and obviously impacted my ability to make new connections and think about what the next part of my life would look like.
[GEORGE:]
Rahul seemed very at ease in himself; a really chatty, intelligent, and funny person. He was a great listener, full of curiosity and openness, which I value. Also, he looked super cute in his glasses.
[RAHUL:] I instantly took a liking to his demeanor. He was very engaging throughout the date and would laugh with so much warmth. I remember it felt like time flew by that evening. Plus, he was polite to the waiter, which was my biggest green flag.
They’re still insisting it’s not a relationship?
[04, George:] Every story Rahul told me involving a friend was a new name, and they were all from different parts of the world. That he was committed to maintaining friendships, despite the distances, with people from different backgrounds and walks of life spoke volumes about him.
[05, RAHUL:] When my friends first met George, they hung on his every word. He is just the best storyteller. Over time, he integrated into my friendship circles, and it felt like he’d always been part of the friend group.
But when they met at the Georgian restaurant in East London, the conversation was unimaginably free. George is prone to candor, and for him, the barrier between thought and speech is easily breached. But even he was surprised by how quickly he opened up to Rahul.04He felt instantly comfortable, told Rahul everything about his life and the difficult year he’d been having. He wondered if this was a lot to present to another person, but Rahul was kind and gentle. It was a huge deal. George had been feeling bad about himself for so long, and to be championed by someone he barely knew was the deepest relief he could have asked for.
[04, George:] Every story Rahul told me involving a friend was a new name, and they were all from different parts of the world. That he was committed to maintaining friendships, despite the distances, with people from different backgrounds and walks of life spoke volumes about him.
A few dates later, he walked Rahul home, down the canal from London Fields to Mile End, and the hour-long walk wasn’t enough to fit their conversation inside of it. They paused without thinking on a bench by a bin in Mile End Park. It was summer: the bin smell was potent and the air was hassled by fruit flies, but they didn’t even notice until they were ready to leave.
It was around this time that a particular thought began to bloom in Rahul’s mind: London was opening up to him. He had thought that a relationship would mean staying in, settling down, stagnation. But George had made his world bigger and richer, made London more vivid.
He met up with his friends one day at a churchyard in Waterloo.05They had a picnic laid out and were basking in the heat and Rahul could not stop talking about George. George was knowledgeable, full of every kind of fact, and Rahul loved this about him. He found himself re-telling anecdotes he had heard from George, or stories about things they had done together, or about how free and happy he felt on their nights out. But still, he insisted, this was not even a relationship. They were just having fun. George might be dating other people anyway, he thought. He presumed, really, that that’s what most people who used dating apps did.
[05, RAHUL:] When my friends first met George, they hung on his every word. He is just the best storyteller. Over time, he integrated into my friendship circles, and it felt like he’d always been part of the friend group.
[06, GEORGE:] Rahul was used to a packed itinerary, and I was happy to lounge on the beach with a book. On the trip, we made a concerted effort to allow time for the other person’s activities, so our first holiday was a huge success when we finally had it!
[07, RAHUL:] Our friends actually played a pretty big role in us figuring out we needed to be together. The general sentiment was, "DON'T LET HIM GO!"
George, meanwhile, had a suspicion that Rahul would get bored of him. George was the first person Rahul had ever dated; surely, George thought, Rahul would want to explore further than this. Around the same time, George went away with a friend, and missed Rahul enormously. He was in Slovenia, on a farm in the mountains, hands sticky from cooking with his friend, when she asked how things were going.06George thought about it, and about how much he would have loved for Rahul to be there with them, and spoke then with certainty: he wanted Rahul. He thought Rahul probably wanted him too. It was easy and simple and clear.
[06, GEORGE:] Rahul was used to a packed itinerary, and I was happy to lounge on the beach with a book. On the trip, we made a concerted effort to allow time for the other person’s activities, so our first holiday was a huge success when we finally had it!
They were in a relationship. They were pretending that they weren’t.
That summer, the impasse came to a head. They were in Greenwich Park, and it was one of summer’s hottest days, blisteringly bright and far away from the windowless offices where they first began their conversations. They could no longer hold themselves back. They had passed beneath the Thames via the dusty Victorian foot tunnel. They found themselves in Mudchute, on the south end of Isle of Dogs, the suburban houses nestled uneasily beneath Canary Wharf’s glass skyline, like a rural retirement village transplanted to London’s finance capital.
Who were they kidding? They admitted that they wanted it.07
Whatever happened to love at first sight?
[07, RAHUL:] Our friends actually played a pretty big role in us figuring out we needed to be together. The general sentiment was, "DON'T LET HIM GO!"
Neither had been dating anyone else. Neither had an itch to move on to somebody new.
They only wanted each other.
What had changed? How did they go from nothing serious to fully in love?
[GEORGE:] I actually made a book for Rahul as an anniversary present that had screenshots of all our original, DRY conversations.
[GEORGE:] I actually made a book for Rahul as an anniversary present that had screenshots of all our original, DRY conversations.
[RAHUL & GEORGE:] When we first met, our two homes were separated by the Regent’s Canal. We would often make that walk to see each other and spend quality time. It’s where we walked on the day my parents first met George. We both share the view that one of the best ways of exploring London is by walking.
In the game of love, they’re both winning!
[RAHUL & GEORGE:] When we first met, our two homes were separated by the Regent’s Canal. We would often make that walk to see each other and spend quality time. It’s where we walked on the day my parents first met George. We both share the view that one of the best ways of exploring London is by walking.
Whatever happened to love at first sight?
[08, George:] Even if you’re willing to spend time on a date, investing in one person when you could meet another (and another) is hard. We are both really lucky that we overcame that hesitation and stuck it out to see what happened. Even the Central line can seem bearable when you have a hand to hold.
[09, Both:] Neither of us foresaw our two worlds colliding when George sent the first message. Now, we can’t imagine a world without the other. Whatever happens next, we will be in it together.
London is a city of eight million. It’s not an easy place to date, not an easy place to meet another person and to both, in unison, decide that this is the right time to take a leap towards each other.08Many people’s dating lives are characterized by two interconnecting problems: too many options, too little time. London is expensive. Earning enough to pay rent and have an OK life takes time and emotion. Many of us are reluctant to concede even a small clearing of time in order to pursue a relationship which may ultimately require us to reconfigure our desires, boundaries, or ideals, when there’s always the possibility of one day meeting someone who requires no such compromises, at precisely the right moment. Many of us have been on many completely lovely first dates, agreed to meet again in a week, but by then, have felt tired, and the glow of the initial spark would have receded in memory. One person cancels and the other is glad. They gesture towards rescheduling, but never speak again, and return to Hinge to look for nothing serious.
[08, George:] Even if you’re willing to spend time on a date, investing in one person when you could meet another (and another) is hard. We are both really lucky that we overcame that hesitation and stuck it out to see what happened. Even the Central line can seem bearable when you have a hand to hold.
In a city of missed connections, George and Rahul decided to take a leap.
They sat for a while on a bench in a secluded part of the park. There weren’t many people around. George had his arm around Rahul and he felt so comfortable easing into the warmth of his shoulder.
In the end, it was easy: they just made a decision.
It was a completely wrong time, but they were each other’s right person.09 They sat quietly, stared at the park’s flowers. Rahul had hay fever: his eyes were streaming and he couldn’t stop sneezing. He didn’t mind, barely noticed. It was worth it for the view.
[09, Both:] Neither of us foresaw our two worlds colliding when George sent the first message. Now, we can’t imagine a world without the other. Whatever happens next, we will be in it together.
Love Notes
he/himEuan & Aliyashe/her
Matched on Hinge April 2023
WRITTEN BY BRONTEZ PURNELL
[01, Aliya:] I had been at a pub with my friends and really thought I could be present for both things. I had sort of accepted in my mind I was gonna be late; I just did not expect to be THAT late.
[EUAN:] I had really hyped the fact that I was going on a date with her to all my friends. She seemed so cool, and I was excited she wanted to get to know me in person. It felt like it was worth waiting for her.
[02, EUAN:] I love the way she knows how clothes sit on her body. She is so self-aware of how things look on her; it's so unique. Her style is something she can only pull off, and it never looks like a costume.
It all starts with the fragile matter of flirtation. A conversation. The very foundation that all romance is built upon. The perilous matter of pairing is crazy-making at best, but we contend that gravity will set everything right, and every so often, the perishable notion of love will be victorious.
***
We enter the two players: Euan and Aliya. In the beginning, they were perfect strangers, linked in the casual camaraderie of both being (coincidentally) students at the University of Manchester Metropolitan. It was a meeting that almost didn’t happen.
Let it be known that Aliya did not respond to Euan’s initial Hinge request for three days and almost canceled their first date. She was a very busy girl. It was April, and they were to meet at a bar named Haus, very close to where Euan stayed at the time. The beautiful Aliya, however, was late to the date by 45 minutes.01 Euan, a stickler for punctuality, forgave this transgression, albeit with a little skepticism. Time was precious, but maybe it would be worth giving up a few minutes for a beautiful stranger.
[01, Aliya:] I had been at a pub with my friends and really thought I could be present for both things. I had sort of accepted in my mind I was gonna be late; I just did not expect to be THAT late.
[EUAN:] I had really hyped the fact that I was going on a date with her to all my friends. She seemed so cool, and I was excited she wanted to get to know me in person. It felt like it was worth waiting for her.
The gamble paid off. The two locked eyes;
Aliya in her loud Doc Martin loafers, oversized cream 3-quarter shorts, chaotically patterned zip-up, and glittering gold jewelry.
Wild, he thought when he saw her for the first time.02
[02, EUAN:] I love the way she knows how clothes sit on her body. She is so self-aware of how things look on her; it's so unique. Her style is something she can only pull off, and it never looks like a costume.
Euan in his bandana, zip hoodie, brown cargos, and Nike Air Forces.
Reserved, she thought when examining him.
[03, ALIYA:] His style is so relaxed. He's never afraid to wear what he wants to wear and make sure he is comfortable. We have quite a few matching pieces, just coincidentally.
[04, EUAN:] When we first met, neither of us were looking for anything serious. We both didn't have any expectations but really surprised each other with the connection and energy we shared. That's how I knew it was right.
[05, ALIYA:] When I take pictures of him now, I just find him beautiful. It sounds so cringe to say, but it's like I see a vision, and he's that vision. It's just special to be able to capture that feeling.
Two stylish, blazingly beautiful hip kids, making a match that would test the limits of both of their capacity for compromise in the name of companionship. And yes, it would all be very worth it.03
[03, ALIYA:] His style is so relaxed. He's never afraid to wear what he wants to wear and make sure he is comfortable. We have quite a few matching pieces, just coincidentally.
It could not have been more fetching, a liaison between Euan, the model, and Aliya, the photographer. Does love not often privilege the dance between subject and observer? Their professions promised a natural dialogue between an artist and muse, beauty and self-expression, observation and perception. Then the date ended, followed by the jagged flow of intermittent conversations, but mostly, silence.04
[04, EUAN:] When we first met, neither of us were looking for anything serious. We both didn't have any expectations but really surprised each other with the connection and energy we shared. That's how I knew it was right.
***
Thirty days later, a second date between the two landed them at a fashion exhibition at Salford University. Unbeknownst to them, both had participated in the show. The connection was reignited, the romance would have wings.
The word he thought of when thinking about her: unique. Someone he could tell things to and not feel like an awkward oversharer. He felt like her very person put his heart at ease, a person who was so clearly comfortable in their own being, that it inspired the same in him.
The word she thought of for him: grounded. Something that could perhaps wrangle the free spirit inside of her. Perhaps push her creatively or, at least, help her marginally reduce her habitual lateness and overbooked schedule with a little patience.05
[05, ALIYA:] When I take pictures of him now, I just find him beautiful. It sounds so cringe to say, but it's like I see a vision, and he's that vision. It's just special to be able to capture that feeling.
Different people with, perhaps at parts, even conflicted expectations—but all capable of compromise.
***
From wild and reserved to unique and grounded!
[06, ALIYA:] I have this made-up language that I speak. It's definitely not a conscious choice; I just use the words that naturally flow out. I'm glad it translates over to Euan, though.
[07, Euan:] I actually started a list of all the things I would reference and realized Aliya didn't understand. Now, every time I mention something, we add it to the list so that we can eventually watch together.
The very definition of vernacular; to be concerned with the domestic and functional use of language rather than the ornamental. No stronger definition could describe the language of these two.
Aliya would use the word “focused” for “quirky.”06She would mix up words like this a lot. Euan found Aliya’s use of words charmingly strange and adorable. He never corrected her. At times, within the mix of two people coming from different cultures and backgrounds, finding commonality in language could be challenging. Perhaps what was most important, even in the misuse of some words, was that Euan always understood the intention behind Aliya’s words.
Aliya would use the word “focused” for “quirky.”06She would mix up words like this a lot. Euan found Aliya’s use of words charmingly strange and adorable. He never corrected her. At times, within the mix of two people coming from different cultures and backgrounds, finding commonality in language could be challenging. Perhaps what was most important, even in the misuse of some words, was that Euan always understood the intention behind Aliya’s words.
[06, ALIYA:] I have this made-up language that I speak. It's definitely not a conscious choice; I just use the words that naturally flow out. I'm glad it translates over to Euan, though.
Euan constantly referenced movies and TV shows Aliya had never seen when they spoke. She hadn’t heard of the quotes, memes, or inside jokes that he casually used to punctuate his prose.07Over time, she accepted what they meant to him. There is no greater victory in love than when a hard-earned love language is mutually agreed upon and reached.
[07, Euan:] I actually started a list of all the things I would reference and realized Aliya didn't understand. Now, every time I mention something, we add it to the list so that we can eventually watch together.
Aliya established that her love language was gifts and notes, little trinkets of affection to be sprinkled throughout to remind Euan that he was the thing that was on the front of her mind. Euan took a more text-based approach in making a wax seal that the both of them were to use in case there were things too hard to say out loud.
***
Ask him out now!
[08, Aliya:] I was on such an independent course, thinking too much about individual growth, so much that I didn't realize I could maintain my independence within a relationship. That’s why I pushed back initially on making things official.
[09, EUAN:] It wasn't so much that I was surprised as I was relieved. It felt like we were on the same page and that we understood each other. These are the photos we took in the photo booth when Aliya asked me out. I look so happy!
[10, EUAN:] It felt like her leaving was this bad omen. I actually ended up getting really sick and was in the hospital with partial paralysis. It felt like so many things were going wrong, and I just wanted to get back on track. When she finally came home, I was trying to cook this epic meal for us, running around my kitchen with a walking stick. She immediately walked in and told me to sit down.
It is a very rare thing to have love that is uninterrupted, and in the case of Euan and Aliya the gods of love threw in a plot twist so abrupt it could inspire whiplash. It is true that few blessings come without a challenge.
By December, Euan had made it clear he wanted to be in a relationship. He was ready; he’d said his piece. Aliya said, “No.”08 She wanted to wait; she wasn’t quite ready. Instead, she opted to interject the dialogue by introducing Euan to her entire family.
Ask him out now!
[08, Aliya:] I was on such an independent course, thinking too much about individual growth, so much that I didn't realize I could maintain my independence within a relationship. That’s why I pushed back initially on making things official.
Weeks later, they would meet for a final date that concluded with the pair sat inside a photobooth. Aliya was set to head off to Bahrain for a month, the very next day. Leaving Euan at a vulnerable point in this critical juncture of their romance: where do I stand with her? he wondered.
In preparation for her absence, Aliya left Euan a token of her affection, a gift of photographs and notes in an envelope to be looked at every day. Through a note hidden in the advent calendar—a series of riddles and messages—Aliya made her feelings clear and finally asked Euan out.
“It’s about time! ” quipped Euan. “I’ve already met your mum.”09
[09, EUAN:] It wasn't so much that I was surprised as I was relieved. It felt like we were on the same page and that we understood each other. These are the photos we took in the photo booth when Aliya asked me out. I look so happy!
The next day, Aliya left for Bahrain.10 Euan was alone again. He was most certainly panicked. So much could (and would) happen in a month. Life could (and would) whisk her away; he could (and would) get hurt.
[10, EUAN:] It felt like her leaving was this bad omen. I actually ended up getting really sick and was in the hospital with partial paralysis. It felt like so many things were going wrong, and I just wanted to get back on track. When she finally came home, I was trying to cook this epic meal for us, running around my kitchen with a walking stick. She immediately walked in and told me to sit down.
***
The perfect note to end on.
Upon Aliya’s return from her home, there Euan sat waiting for her and the magic of their connection continued, bravely forward. And still to this day, communication realigns the couple’s mutual language for love; spontaneously written love notes.
From Euan to Aliya: “I’ve been so proud of how hard you have been working to further yourself and how you’ve made me feel more comfortable even though you have more than enough on your plate.”
From Aliya to Euan, lovingly: “I have been enjoying you in ways that I felt weren’t possible. You’ve been giving me more you, and I love the journey of that!”
And so their story continues to be written, in a language all of their own creation.
[ALIYA:] I was so giddy after asking him out, and then I left the next day. I remember being okay for the first week away from him, and then I felt antsy and impatient getting back to him and sharing that moment with him.
[ALIYA:] I was so giddy after asking him out, and then I left the next day. I remember being okay for the first week away from him, and then I felt antsy and impatient getting back to him and sharing that moment with him.
The perfect note to end on.
LOVE RELICS
[Aliya:] Here are the photos we took together in the photo booth right when I asked Euan out. In the first frame, you can see him reading the message, and then his face right after is priceless.
[Euan:] This is the note I got from Aliya asking me to be her boyfriend. It was the 7th in a series of little notes and messages. I was so relieved and giddy after, how cute is she!
[Euan:] This is the custom wax seal I bought for us. I use green colored wax for when I have something really important or special that I have written down for Aliya, and I wrap it up with the seal and give it to her. The number seven has always been our lucky number, which is why it's an important part of the design.
[Aliya:] He sends letters sealed with green wax to me, and I use red wax for him.
[Euan:] On one of our first dates, we went to the Lego store together and decided we wanted to make custom Lego figures of ourselves. The options in the store were so limited, you could only have yellow faces and bodies and couldn’t really pull custom clothes or accessories, so this was as far as I got for mine, and it was sillier for Aliya because hers barely felt like her at all.
[Euan:] Then, at Christmas the same year, we had a plan to get each other one budget gift and one nice gift. For the budget gift, I found a website that lets you completely customize Lego figurines, so I made sure I got the red hair and an outfit she would actually wear, and now she is holding a camera and walk-talkie like she is on a photo set. She loved it.
Only One Rule
she/herBella & Corinneshe/they
Matched on Hinge October 2023
WRITTEN BY ISLE MCELROY
[BELLA:] When I met Corinne, I remember them talking with their hands and having this very physical way of articulating herself. I was quite enchanted by the way they spoke and how they were mirroring movements back at me.
[CORINNE:] When I first met her, she was in the coolest outfit. She had this big smile and was so cute and vibrant.
[01, CORINNE:] Just so you know, I use she/her and they/them pronouns interchangeably.
[02, CORINNE:] So much of my life is dance, and I just needed a little bit of a reprieve from it. I was worried that if my partner was also a dancer, it would just become the whole world, and I wouldn't have any outside perspective.
[03, BELLA:] I never run out of ways to talk about dance. I just love how dancers communicate through physicality and are in tune with their bodies. I was curious that would play out in more of a romantic situation, which is why I was so excited for this date.
Corinne only had one rule for dating: no dancers. They didn’t dislike dancers. She was, after all, a dancer themself.01She loved waking up early to trek to rehearsal; she loved exerting herself and the clean ache in their body after a full day at the studio. She couldn’t date another dancer because dancing was her thing. She didn’t want to compete with a partner for roles or for every conversation they shared to revolve around dancing.02Thus, they were thrilled when they landed on Bella’s Hinge profile. In one photo, Bella was lounging in a camping chair next to a fire. Corinne thought Bella was stunning. Thankfully, Bella wasn’t a dancer. She was an Arts and Culture Researcher. Corinne liked her photo.
[01, CORINNE:] Just so you know, I use she/her and they/them pronouns interchangeably.
[02, CORINNE:] So much of my life is dance, and I just needed a little bit of a reprieve from it. I was worried that if my partner was also a dancer, it would just become the whole world, and I wouldn't have any outside perspective.
For years, Bella’s friends had been telling her that dancers just get it. She wasn’t sure what her friends meant—but she was eager to find out. Bella was a dancer. She had a day job, as well, to give her life more structure and stability. But, at her core, she wanted to be on stage. And when she and Corinne matched, Bella was excited to find out whether her friends were correct: Was it really that different?
The day of the date, Corinne nearly canceled. They had rehearsal early the next morning, and she didn’t want to be out too late with a stranger. This was often an issue for Corinne. They valued structure and routine, and a date would interrupt her routine. Thankfully, her friends convinced her to go. Anyway, it was too late to cancel.
Bella had everything planned to perfection. She picked out a cute wine bar where she and Corinne could grab a bite before walking over to watch a salsa show.
Over drinks, Bella couldn’t contain herself. She was so thrilled to be out with a fellow performer—she wanted to know everything about Corinne’s style, how she got into dancing, her favorite performers.03
Corinne froze. You’re a dancer? They asked. I thought you worked in arts research.
[03, BELLA:] I never run out of ways to talk about dance. I just love how dancers communicate through physicality and are in tune with their bodies. I was curious that would play out in more of a romantic situation, which is why I was so excited for this date.
[BELLA:] When I met Corinne, I remember them talking with their hands and having this very physical way of articulating herself. I was quite enchanted by the way they spoke and how they were mirroring movements back at me.
[CORINNE:] When I first met her, she was in the coolest outfit. She had this big smile and was so cute and vibrant.
I hope they make it past the first date!
[BELLA:] Dancing with someone is a very vulnerable experience for me, especially because I care so much about it. Sometimes, you’re dancing with strangers who don’t know how to dance, and that can be awkward. But Corinne knew how to dance, and they looked so good doing it. It was so natural.
Bella did. But she had trained as a dancer. That’s why she’d gotten them tickets for a salsa performance. She was curious what Corinne would think of the show.
When they arrived at the venue, however, they discovered a small group of queer musicians in the center of an enormous studio. There weren’t any chairs for an audience. Bella hadn’t bought tickets for a performance. She had, unintentionally, brought Corinne to a queer salsa jam, where musicians had come together to practice. They were the only dancers in the venue. Bella apologized to Corinne; she was so excited to plan the perfect date that she missed the fine print on the tickets. But Corinne was having a good time so far, and when the musicians invited them to move to the music, they agreed. Bella’s embarrassment faded as they swayed. Corinne was an excellent dancer, even sexier than she had imagined, and they quickly fell into a rhythm. Their bodies easily understood one another’s. Though neither one had much practice with salsa, they both easily picked up the moves. It wasn’t the evening that either Bella or Corinne had expected. It was better than either one had imagined.
[BELLA:] Dancing with someone is a very vulnerable experience for me, especially because I care so much about it. Sometimes, you’re dancing with strangers who don’t know how to dance, and that can be awkward. But Corinne knew how to dance, and they looked so good doing it. It was so natural.
[04, CORINNE:] A born and raised New Yorker I had recently dated told me that you don’t kiss people on the subway. And then we were on the subway, and she was going to get off the train, and I panicked. I did the most taboo thing in New York ever. I called my friends and was like, ‘Help, I’ve messed up.’ We still kiss on the subway now, though.
[05, BELLA:] I immediately called my dad and pulled out a 16-year-old tantrum, being like, ‘You're the worst dad in the world’ and ‘You ruined my life.’ Then I just hung up the phone on him before he could defend himself and lay on the floor in my room, staring at the ceiling. But Corinne made me feel better.
On the subway home, they leaned even closer together, arms grazing and drifting apart, eyes locked, mouths messy with laughs. Right before Bella’s stop, Corinne went for it: They kissed her. A perfect splash of a kiss. But a kiss on the subway! What type of person kisses on the subway!?
The doors opened; Bella hopped onto the platform, and Corinne was left with her shame: It was cringe to kiss on the subway!
Bella didn’t find it cringe. She was floating.04She practically skipped home, excited to tell everyone about Corinne. Her friends had been right. Corinne really did seem to understand her, on some deeper level—they understood the choreography that inspired her, they understood how Bella’s body wanted to move. She told her friends about their date. She told her dad, she told her younger siblings. There wasn’t anyone she wouldn’t tell.
[04, CORINNE:] A born and raised New Yorker I had recently dated told me that you don’t kiss people on the subway. And then we were on the subway, and she was going to get off the train, and I panicked. I did the most taboo thing in New York ever. I called my friends and was like, ‘Help, I’ve messed up.’ We still kiss on the subway now, though.
The following morning, Corinne woke up on time for rehearsal. She made it to the studio, still riding the waves of their date. Maybe they could be with a dancer after all? Corinne turned off her phone in the studio. When she turned it back on after rehearsal, she scrolled through her social notifications and paused on a new follower.
It was Bella’s father.05
[05, BELLA:] I immediately called my dad and pulled out a 16-year-old tantrum, being like, ‘You're the worst dad in the world’ and ‘You ruined my life.’ Then I just hung up the phone on him before he could defend himself and lay on the floor in my room, staring at the ceiling. But Corinne made me feel better.
Another person had commented on Corinne’s most recent post: Hi! Just wanted to say that Bella is an amazing sister!
[Corinne:] On our early dates, we essentially were guesting in each other's lives. We just showed up in places and did things the other was already doing, like Bella joining a protest I was at or going to shows she already had tickets for.
[Corinne:] On our early dates, we essentially were guesting in each other's lives. We just showed up in places and did things the other was already doing, like Bella joining a protest I was at or going to shows she already had tickets for.
Messages from family after just one date?
[06, BELLA:] I literally deleted the app when I got home after our first date. It's true.
[07, CORINNE:] I brought it up to my therapist embarrassingly early. I was like: ‘So I'm dating someone and she's a dancer. That's my one rule, but I don't feel like I have a choice. I cannot let her go.’
Bella already knew, and she was mortified. She’d spent the last few hours, while Corinne was rehearsing, trying to apologize for her brother’s comment. Bella came from a big communal family. They shared everything—they were welcoming and kind, but sometimes they acted a little too familiar while building connections.
Messages from family after just one date?
Corinne was surprised by the familiarity. They asked their friends if it was too weird. It was pretty weird, but they still liked Bella. You should probably know that I am clowning you to all my friends, they wrote, but I’m still very excited to see you again :).
Bella could accept those terms. She loved how clear Corinne was. Their honesty and clarity made her feel safe and desired. Bella had been nervous about entering her first serious queer relationship. She’d only recently come out to family and friends. But with Corinne, she felt understood.06
[06, BELLA:] I literally deleted the app when I got home after our first date. It's true.
[Corinne:] On our early dates, we essentially were guesting in each other's lives. We just showed up in places and did things the other was already doing, like Bella joining a protest I was at or going to shows she already had tickets for.
On their second date, they went to a concert. They couldn’t keep their bodies apart from each other. They were building an easy rhythm together. Perhaps Corinne was wrong? Perhaps there was room in their life for another performer—especially when that performer so naturally understood her.07
[07, CORINNE:] I brought it up to my therapist embarrassingly early. I was like: ‘So I'm dating someone and she's a dancer. That's my one rule, but I don't feel like I have a choice. I cannot let her go.’
Of course, they went on a third date, and a fourth, and fifth, and eventually too many to count. Corinne found, in Bella, another person who understood what they loved about dance. Bella embraced Corinne’s need to rest after a day in the studio, their need to go to bed early, their crankiness when they didn’t perform at their best. What had she been so afraid of? Perhaps there were things to fear about dating a dancer, but with Bella, she wasn’t scared.
Love is a dance you can’t perform alone.
[08, BELLA:] I don’t think I was anxious; it was just this really overwhelming moment of ‘Wow, I am so different since the last time I was in a church,’ and now I get to be here with my girlfriend.
[CORINNE:] We were just two gays in a church!
A few months into dating, Corinne and Bella went to a performance in a Catholic church. It was not a religious ceremony. But Bella, who’d grown up Catholic, hadn’t been in a church since she’d come out.08
[08, BELLA:] I don’t think I was anxious; it was just this really overwhelming moment of ‘Wow, I am so different since the last time I was in a church,’ and now I get to be here with my girlfriend.
[CORINNE:] We were just two gays in a church!
They settled into the pews. Corinne noticed Bella’s hands shifting nervously in her lap. They could tell Bella was anxious. She rested her hand on top of Bella’s. Bella added her hand to Corinne’s. Corinne’s other hand piled on top, and Bella made a gesture with her bottom hand. Corinne mirrored the gesture, then added to it. It continued this way, two dancers dancing with only their hands, creating a performance out of Bella’s palpable nerves that ended up calming her nerves, staging a dance that only they could perform. The Dance of Bella and Corinne.
Love is a dance you can’t perform alone.
Work in Progress
she/herChanti & Najibhe/him
Matched on Hinge May 2022
WRITTEN BY ROXANE GAY
[01, CHANTI:] The picture I liked was of him lifting his shirt, lol. Najib messaged first; we both didn't want to talk too much but just really wanted to hang out. We got each other’s vibes pretty quickly through our profiles.
[NAJIB:] I loved this video of her in this art gallery singing along to Frank Ocean's Pyramids—her playfulness really felt cute to me and I could already tell we liked the same music.
1.
There he was, waiting and waiting and… waiting. Najib sighed and scrolled through his phone notifications. He was being stood up, Najib was certain. “Treacherous,” he thought, before laughing to himself. “These dating streets are treacherous.” He stretched his long legs before hooking his feet on the barstool’s footrest. Suddenly, his phone vibrated. Chanti’s name popped up. His chest tightened as he opened the message, and then he exhaled.
“OMG WORK,” she texted. “A photo shoot running long. So sorry! I will be there if you don’t mind waiting.”
“All good,” Najib replied and then he opened Hinge to study Chanti’s profile and remind himself of what he was waiting for.01She was a hottie, that went without saying, but there was something about her eyes and her voice and how much she seemed to make the most of every single moment of every single day. He was either going to love all that energy or hate it.
[01, CHANTI:] The picture I liked was of him lifting his shirt, lol. Najib messaged first; we both didn't want to talk too much but just really wanted to hang out. We got each other’s vibes pretty quickly through our profiles.
[NAJIB:] I loved this video of her in this art gallery singing along to Frank Ocean's Pyramids—her playfulness really felt cute to me and I could already tell we liked the same music.
“I’m always looking forward,” she said the first time they spoke on the phone. “And you?”
“Me,” he drawled, slowly. “So far, I’ve just been looking.”
2.
Loud David Bowie blared through the echoing space as the photographer shouted directions to her assistant. Chanti stood back from the model, went to a nearby table of accessories, and plucked three chunky bracelets and a scarf from the colorful array. She slid the bracelets on the model’s left wrist and wrapped the scarf around the right before stepping back to assess. She looked to the photographer. “What do we think?”
It’s better late than never, I guess.
[02, CHANTI:] In the beginning, it was really hard with my career being so busy. I was in LA half the time or on set. I thought I was balancing it well, but according to Najib, that wasn't really the case...
[NAJIB:] For me, I just felt like, ‘Maybe she won't have time for this.’ Her messages were quite short when she was traveling and it felt like she was just caught up in a whole other life.
[03, NAJIB:] I had no other plans and it was nice out. I'm pretty chill and don't really have a problem waiting. It wasn't like she was being rude, she was actually being overly apologetic, and I am like that too.
The photographer quickly looked the model up and down and nodded before lifting the camera to her face to see the model through the lens. As the photographer began shooting again, Chanti slid into the shadows, admiring her work. Every couple of minutes, she glanced at her phone, her throat tightening a bit. She was late, very late for a first date, and this photo shoot was never going to end. All day, the photographer had been… temperamental, at best. First, she wanted this, and then she wanted that, and then there was a problem with the lighting, and then the model had an issue with her back and wanted to go home, but the shoot had to be finished that day or else. This is the job, Chanti reminded herself. And, actually, she loved her job—the creativity of it exhilarated her. Even the chaos was invigorating, every day different, always meeting the most interesting people and helping them make the most of their beauty; the work gave her a sense of purpose and pride. And still, some days, loving her job was enough. Some days, it was not nearly enough.02
[02, CHANTI:] In the beginning, it was really hard with my career being so busy. I was in LA half the time or on set. I thought I was balancing it well, but according to Najib, that wasn't really the case...
[NAJIB:] For me, I just felt like, ‘Maybe she won't have time for this.’ Her messages were quite short when she was traveling and it felt like she was just caught up in a whole other life.
3.
Najib was getting antsy. He wanted to be sharp, on top of his game, but he had been waiting nearly an hour. “I’m a patient man,” he thought. “I am a patient man. All good things come in good time.” He wasn’t the kind of guy who got riled up about the small things.03If this date was meant to be, it would be. He started tapping his thumbs against the bar. He could do this, see this woman he had been talking to for a couple of weeks. And if there was nothing there, he could go home and forget all about the night.
[03, NAJIB:] I had no other plans and it was nice out. I'm pretty chill and don't really have a problem waiting. It wasn't like she was being rude, she was actually being overly apologetic, and I am like that too.
[04, NAJIB:] Her drink is French 75 with Cognac. She knows I want a Mezcal Paloma, but I'm always happy to have what she's having.
Suddenly, the air shifted and the sound—the raucous music, the tinkling of glasses, the murmurs of conversation punctuated by peals of laughter—it all dulled into a quiet hum. Chanti stood to his side, smiling brightly, her hand extended. Najib stared down at it, then smiled and stood from the barstool where he was perched. He cracked his neck from side to side, then pulled her into a gentle hug. He closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying the solid warmth of her body against his, and she did too. “It is good to be a patient man,” he thought. After a light squeeze, Najib pulled away. He gestured to the empty stool next to him and Chanti clambered up, taking a moment to situate herself and set her bulky purse on the bar. Najib motioned for the bartender, who wiped his hands with a bar towel.
“How can I help you folks?” the bartender asked.
Najib looked at Chanti again. “What will you be having?”
Chanti sighed, leaning on one elbow as she studied the chalkboards above the bar featuring the menu. “What do you recommend?” she asked the bartender.
“What do you like?”
She pulled the long braids cascading down her back to the side. “I could use something strong, not too fruity but still sweet, interesting.”
The bartender nodded and quickly proffered a glass, setting it on the rail before him. “I got you,” he said. “And you, my man, what will you be having?”
Najib made a flourish with his hand. “Whatever the lady is having.”04
[04, NAJIB:] Her drink is French 75 with Cognac. She knows I want a Mezcal Paloma, but I'm always happy to have what she's having.
Chanti arched an eyebrow. “Are you adventurous?”
[05, CHANTI:] It felt familiar immediately. There were no gaps in the conversation and it was so engaging. All the things we had in common almost seemed fateful. It felt like I was getting right into it with my best friend.
[06, CHANTI:] We took our time getting to know each other. It was super stop-and-start with the dates, so it took us five months to become exclusive.
[NAJIB:] We weren't going on too many dates until October. We love Halloween, so it was a bonding point. I did a concert dressed as Prince, and it was the moment everything came together.
“I am today.”
A few moments later, the bartender set two tall pink drinks with a long rectangle ice cube bobbing gently, and a lime on the sugared rim. They reached for their glasses, clinked them together, and took tentative sips at the same time. Najib cocked his head to the left, paused, then nodded. Chanti took another sip. “Yeah,” she said. “That’s exactly what I want.”05
[05, CHANTI:] It felt familiar immediately. There were no gaps in the conversation and it was so engaging. All the things we had in common almost seemed fateful. It felt like I was getting right into it with my best friend.
4.
Later, after they settled their tab, Najib and Chanti stood outside the bar enjoying the warm Brooklyn night. Najib shifted from foot to foot, his skin tingling pleasantly. “I had a dope time tonight,” he said.
Chanti nodded. “A dope time. That’s exactly right. I love when the conversation just comes easy and we don’t have to sit, staring at each other through awkward silences. I’ve done that way too many times. And I’m sorry, again, for being so late. The day just got away from me…”
He reached for Chanti’s hand, holding it between both of his. “So long as you don’t get away from me, it’s all good.”
They leaned toward each other until their lips were almost touching. Chanti tilted her face upward and then leaned even further forward. Her skin tingled pleasantly, too.
“When can I see you again?” Chanti asked.
Najib shrugged. “Whenever you want,” he drawled.06
[06, CHANTI:] We took our time getting to know each other. It was super stop-and-start with the dates, so it took us five months to become exclusive.
[NAJIB:] We weren't going on too many dates until October. We love Halloween, so it was a bonding point. I did a concert dressed as Prince, and it was the moment everything came together.
[NAJIB:] Early into us seeing each other, Chanti moved into my friend's house down the road from me in Flatbush so we would see each other all the time. For Chanti, this felt like the honeymoon period. For me, it felt like things were moving very fast. We were under each other's skin too early and too often. I also wasn't good at voicing the fact that I was overwhelmed.
[NAJIB:] Early into us seeing each other, Chanti moved into my friend's house down the road from me in Flatbush so we would see each other all the time. For Chanti, this felt like the honeymoon period. For me, it felt like things were moving very fast. We were under each other's skin too early and too often. I also wasn't good at voicing the fact that I was overwhelmed.
[07, NAJIB:] I make music, and Chanti is definitely woven in and out of many of my songs. There is one in particular called Nice to Me, which is about her.
[CHANTI:] Music is what we first bonded over. Every "New Music Friday," we would always debrief, and we spent one night watching music videos at Najib's house. We realized we both loved Love Crimes by Frank Ocean.
5.
It was jazz night at The Roxy, and the place was crowded, loud. On stage, a quartet played from Miles Davis’s songbook. Najib and Chanti sat, cuddled up in a banquette. He nodded with the beat, tapping his leg as Chanti swayed from side to side.
“I’m definitely feeling this,” Chanti said.
Najib leaned against Chanti, then pressed his forehead against yours. “Guess what?”
“Mmmm… what?”
“I’m definitely feeling you, too,” Najib said.
Chanti gently grabbed Najib’s lower lip with her teeth. “Najib, are you saying we go together?”
He clasped her neck, pulling Chanti toward him. “Yeah,” he murmured. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”07
[07, NAJIB:] I make music, and Chanti is definitely woven in and out of many of my songs. There is one in particular called Nice to Me, which is about her.
[CHANTI:] Music is what we first bonded over. Every "New Music Friday," we would always debrief, and we spent one night watching music videos at Najib's house. We realized we both loved Love Crimes by Frank Ocean.
6.
The coffee cup Chanti was holding practically seared the soft skin of her palm. She winced as she walked. It was a beautiful evening, sun fading into stretches of red and purple. She took in the city, all of it—the honking horns, the bodega owner standing in front of his shop wiping his forehead with a towel as he smoked a cigarette, the trashcan at the corner, overflowing, and then, a bright shock of color caught her attention—a beautiful floral shop, bursting with roses and gladiolus and peonies and daisies and irises and more. It had been so long, too long really, since someone sent her flowers. She stopped in front of the stand and pulled a bouquet to her nose, inhaling deeply. The owner, a genial older man, came out and nodded toward the bouquet. “A beautiful woman deserves beautiful flowers.”
Chanti smiled, shyly. “I’d like to think so,” she said.
[NAJIB:] We had our first kiss at Pianos in the Lower East Side. We were out with Chanti's roommates, who were all DJs. A lot of the music playing were songs we loved, and it just built up into this moment.
[CHANTI:] This kiss was amazing; it made me giggly, like, “Oh, he really likes me!”
I hope he takes the hint!
He took the bouquet from her, wrapping it in brown paper and tying a bow around it. Then he handed her the floors. “For you, my dear.”
Chanti’s eyes widened as she took the flowers. “How much do I owe you?”
The florist shook his head. “Your smile is all I could ever need.”
Chanti hugged the flowers to her chest. “You flatter me, and you’ve made my day. I won’t forget this.” As she continued making her way to the bar where she was meeting Najib, she felt a little lighter, a bounce in her step.
[NAJIB:] We had our first kiss at Pianos in the Lower East Side. We were out with Chanti's roommates, who were all DJs. A lot of the music playing were songs we loved, and it just built up into this moment.
[CHANTI:] This kiss was amazing; it made me giggly, like, “Oh, he really likes me!”
7.
Najib stared at the clock and straightened the keyboard on his desk. In ten minutes, he would get off work and the weekend would begin. He hummed to himself, a song he had been working on that wasn’t quite there yet, but with a little more work, it would be. To pass the time, Najib sent one last e-mail and straightened his workspace, and, at six p.m. on the dot, he was up and out of his seat, and then he was in the elevator and then he was walking to the subway to meet Chanti. He had lost count of how many dates they had been on, but he was having fun. Chanti was fun. They vibed, hard. They never ran out of things to talk about. They loved trying out new restaurants and bars. Tonight, in fact, they were going to check out the Carreau Club, a pétanque bar. He didn’t even know what pétanque was, but he was excited to find out.
Chanti was sitting at a picnic table in the bar when he arrived. In front of her were two beers and a bouquet of flowers wrapped in brown paper. As he sat, she pushed one of the beers toward him.
[08, CHANTI:] This photo is from the first time I was like, ‘No, this man really likes me.’ He built Lego flowers with me and now I can keep them forever.
[09, CHANTI:] We're really activity-driven. Some of our most creative dates have been at a crafts bar, ice skating, jazz shows, and cooking classes. We even built a mini Lego version of Najib (we like Lego a lot, I'm realizing).
“Just what the doctor ordered, I hope.”
Najib took a long sip and grinned. “Exactly what I needed.” He pointed at the floors. “Are those for me?”
Chanti pulled the flowers a bit closer. “They’re for me, actually.”
There was a brief pause as they stared at each other. Najib tensed. “Who’s buying you flowers?”
“Does it matter?”
Najib squared his shoulders. “I mean, do you, but yeah, a brotha wants to know.”
Chanti laughed. “You can relax. I got these for myself. I love flowers. I love getting flowers.08
Flowers make everything better.
[08, CHANTI:] This photo is from the first time I was like, ‘No, this man really likes me.’ He built Lego flowers with me and now I can keep them forever.
Najib’s shoulders lowered, and he started to look more like himself. “I feel you.”
To their left, the pétanque court.09A handful of people stood at the edge holding small metal balls. They watched as people tossed balls onto the court, aiming for a small red ball or the other metal balls already sitting on the court.
[09, CHANTI:] We're really activity-driven. Some of our most creative dates have been at a crafts bar, ice skating, jazz shows, and cooking classes. We even built a mini Lego version of Najib (we like Lego a lot, I'm realizing).
Chanti shook her head. “I have no idea what they’re doing, but I do know I can throw a little ball.”
The players cheered loudly as one ball clanked into another. Najib stood and rubbed his hands together. “Let’s get things rolling.” He chuckled to himself.
Chanti stood, too. “I do love a good pun.” As they stood at the edge of the court, they pressed their shoulders together. “I could get used to this,” Chanti said.
Najib reached down for a ball. “These are actually called boules,” he said, tossing the ball in the air.
[10, CHANTI:] At this point, I was feeling lonely in the relationship. I had to ask myself what I was missing, and it was romance. You have to honor your own feelings. It doesn't have to be this big dramatic thing, but checking in with yourself and trusting your intuition.
“Are they?” Chanti said, looking at Najib, expectantly. “Anything else to say?”
He tossed a ball onto the court. “I have no idea what I’m doing.”
Chanti pursed her lips and tried to ignore the crescendo of ringing in her ears.
8.
Chanti lay in bed, alone, staring at the ceiling. She had been in the dating game for a minute now, and before she met Najib, she made herself a promise, one she intended to keep. She was not going to spend any more of her precious time teaching a man how to love her right. And, she thought with a sinking feeling, that did not bode well for what she and Najib had going on.10She was down bad, even though she didn’t want to admit it. But she wasn’t down so bad that she wasn’t going to take care of herself. She knew that for damn sure.
[10, CHANTI:] At this point, I was feeling lonely in the relationship. I had to ask myself what I was missing, and it was romance. You have to honor your own feelings. It doesn't have to be this big dramatic thing, but checking in with yourself and trusting your intuition.
9.
They were stretched out on Najib’s small couch, limbs entwined, watching TV. He could barely keep his eyes open as Chanti talked. “Mmmm hmmm,” he kept murmuring.
Chanti gently slapped his shoulder. “Are you paying attention?”
“Always, babe,” he said.
“Have you missed me?”
Najib sighed, softly. “Babe, just being for real ok. When would I miss you? We see each other all the time. You live less than a block away when you’re on this coast.”
[NAJIB:] I was taken aback when we first had this conversation. I went a little non-verbal, and I don’t know if it was the right thing to do. I took some time to think and realized I was being distant; I was pulling back and expecting her to read my mind.
Too much of a good thing? I think I need to lie down!
[NAJIB:] I was taken aback when we first had this conversation. I went a little non-verbal, and I don’t know if it was the right thing to do. I took some time to think and realized I was being distant; I was pulling back and expecting her to read my mind.
[11, NAJIB:] Silly gifts are my version of romance. To this day, I'll take note of the stuff she likes and then just get it for her when she isn't expecting it, like a random Get Rich or Die Trying Hello Kitty Doll or this t-shirt I made for her.
She reached for the remote and muted the television as she sat up. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“I...I was just being honest.”
Chanti crossed her arms over her chest. She took a deep breath. And then another. And another. She stood. “You know what…”
“What?” Najib asked, bracing himself.
The room was silent. Even the hum of the refrigerator seemed to stop. “I...hear you. I’m not loving what I’m hearing, but you’ve been heard.”
Najib rubbed his beard. “You mad?”
“Mad? Nah. A little hurt, but I guess too much of a good thing is too much of a good thing.”
“Word?”
Chanti nodded, still closed in on herself. Najib reached over and brushed a few strands of hair from her face. “I should probably get going. Give you some time to… miss me.”
“Now, Chanti… don’t be like that.” Najib sat up, too. “And let me be clear, you aren’t too much. I just... I want to miss you more. I want time to think about you when you’re not around. And some nights, I just want to make my music, chill with my boys, do me.”
“Fair enough. But… Can I tell you what I want?”
Najib cocked his head to the side. “Oh?”
“Look,” Chanti said. “You’ve never had a serious girlfriend before. I don’t want to have to teach you how to be a boyfriend but, like, I need you to show me you care… surprise me. Bring me flowers. Match my energy. Like, I want romance, full on.11
[11, NAJIB:] Silly gifts are my version of romance. To this day, I'll take note of the stuff she likes and then just get it for her when she isn't expecting it, like a random Get Rich or Die Trying Hello Kitty Doll or this t-shirt I made for her.
[12, CHANTI:] We were raised quite differently in how we communicate. It's not just about what you say, but how you say it too, and that was a learning lesson for me.
[NAJIB:] Communication is something we're figuring out as we’re growing together.
[13, CHANTI:] I think taking that time working in LA just made me less dependent on him and the relationship. That helped a lot.
Najib placed a line of kisses along Chanti’s arm, stopping at her neck. “I can do romance.”
“I do not mean just that,” Chanti said.
He stood and held his hand out. “Heard,” he said.
Chanti took a moment, looked at Najib long and hard, and then stood up, grabbed her things, and left for her apartment.
Najib, now alone, sat back down, to consider where this left them.12
[12, CHANTI:] We were raised quite differently in how we communicate. It's not just about what you say, but how you say it too, and that was a learning lesson for me.
[NAJIB:] Communication is something we're figuring out as we’re growing together.
10.
Chanti smiled as the plane slowly descended toward the glittering New York skyline. It had been another productive trip to Los Angeles, the bright shining sun, her apartment there so cute and perfectly hers. It had been a busy three weeks, styling five clients for a major awards show. She spent most of her days pulling interesting pieces and reaching out to designers, trying to assemble the perfect looks, doing fittings with her clients. She went out with friends, dancing late into the night, and saw another friend’s new play in a tiny Hollywood theatre. She went to the beach and read while watching people from behind her sunglasses. At night, she fell into bed exhausted, texted with Najib a bit before falling asleep. It was good, she thought, some time and space for the heart to grow fonder. It was good.13
[13, CHANTI:] I think taking that time working in LA just made me less dependent on him and the relationship. That helped a lot.
The studio was cramped, but Najib didn’t mind. He bobbed his head as he sat at the recording console, listening to the track he had just laid down. Next to him, his engineer and friend Yusuf was also feeling the flow.
Yusuf snapped his fingers three times. “I think you got it, this time.”
Flowers make everything better.
Najib rubbed his hands together and leaned back in his chair. “I think I did, too.”
Suddenly, Najib looked up and saw the clock. He shot to his feet. “I’ve gotta go. I’m gonna be late.”
“Hot date?” Yusuf asked.
“Something like that. Drop me that track, will you?”
Yusuf nodded as Najib checked his reflection in the glass between them and the recording booth. He smoothed his beard down and ran his fingers along his eyebrows. And then he was out and into an Uber, heading to JFK, hoping traffic wouldn’t be ridiculous. He fidgeted, restless, as traffic was, in fact, ridiculous, and checked the airline app, looked at his watch, and then stared out the window. On the seat next to him, a bouquet of pink roses. When the car finally pulled up to the terminal arrivals, he thanked the driver, grabbed the flowers, and ran into the terminal.
Passengers were just beginning to trickle over to the baggage carousel. Najib looked around, but couldn’t find Chanti. He had made it in time. Or he hadn’t and she was already gone. Nearby a baby started crying, loud and just beyond the baby, an angry line of passengers stood at the lost luggage desk. He watched the doors enclosing the secure area, expectantly. He was a little nervous and a little excited, or maybe a lot nervous and a lot excited. It was weird, he decided, showing up at an airport people worked hard to avoid. He was going to leave, pretend this stalker moment never happened. Najib turned toward the exit, nearly trembling with nervous energy. Suddenly, his mouth was dry, so very dry.
And then he felt a warm hand on his shoulder, the familiar scent of Chanti’s perfume tickling his nose. He turned around, slowly, his smile growing.
You Again
he/himJon & Maurashe/they
First Matched on Hinge January 2023 Re-Matched on Hinge May 2023
WRITTEN BY JOHN PAUL BRAMMER
[MAURA:] I am the busiest person I know. I have two jobs, my passions, my volunteer programs, and my art. I had to learn what my time was worth and that I had no time to be anything other than my fully weird, quirky, and passionate self.
[JON:] We've always been good at being silly around each other. Early on, she would send voice notes while she was driving around LA and would just sing to me. I didn't know if it was intentional or not, but I loved it.
[JON:] My favorite thing about Maura is how unapologetic she is. She made it so easy to be myself because she compromised nothing about herself.
[01, JON & MAURA:] We had a lot of overlapping family lore. This was a really big theme for us bonding initially, so here's a photo of us looking low-key like siblings.
[02, MAURA:] I was just determined to make my movie and just be young and hot. I had wanted a serious relationship for years, but now I needed fun. It's funny how it all works, right?
[03, JON:] At the time, I probably would’ve told you that I was bored. But my cousin had just got engaged to someone she met on a dating app, so deep down, I thought, ‘Ok, maybe this is the place I meet the right person.’
Maura’s favorite part of her childhood home on Ash Road was the tree in the backyard. They tried to cut it down, but it continued to grow anyway, branches and leaves shooting out from the stump. It left the impression of the very top of a tree poking up out of the grass. Resilient. Unique. Did Maura see some of herself in it? Home was a complicated thing. She had love for it, nostalgia, but could only categorize her time there as difficult.
Jon, meanwhile, grew up on a street called Woodland. Chaotic. That’s how Jon thought of his childhood, of the house with the bedroom window facing out toward Woodland Street.01He could see the green street sign from there. Like Maura, Jon held a complicated affection for the house he grew up in, continued to carry some allegiance to it long after he moved out, after his mother stole that street sign and gave it to him as a gift. It was being replaced anyway.
[01, JON & MAURA:] We had a lot of overlapping family lore. This was a really big theme for us bonding initially, so here's a photo of us looking low-key like siblings.
This is a story about two people, but also about two streets, intersecting in such a peculiar way that it makes one wonder about cosmic designs, about fate. But isn’t that how Cupid’s arrow travels? Down an absurd and unlikely constellation of coincidences before arriving impossibly in a heart?
Both Maura and Jon moved to Los Angeles. Not together. Maura was pursuing acting, filmmaking, witchcraft. She was manifesting, lighting candles, romancing the universe.02Jon had moved across the country for his girlfriend who, shortly after his arrival, found someone else and dumped him, leaving him in a city where he didn’t know anyone. Maybe he needed to schmooze the universe a bit too.03
[02, MAURA:] I was just determined to make my movie and just be young and hot. I had wanted a serious relationship for years, but now I needed fun. It's funny how it all works, right?
[03, JON:] At the time, I probably would’ve told you that I was bored. But my cousin had just got engaged to someone she met on a dating app, so deep down, I thought, ‘Ok, maybe this is the place I meet the right person.’
[MAURA:] I am the busiest person I know. I have two jobs, my passions, my volunteer programs, and my art. I had to learn what my time was worth and that I had no time to be anything other than my fully weird, quirky, and passionate self.
[JON:] We've always been good at being silly around each other. Early on, she would send voice notes while she was driving around LA and would just sing to me. I didn't know if it was intentional or not, but I loved it.
[04, MAURA:] This is such an LA problem, but the first time Jon asked me out, it was to 4100 Bar. That immediately put me off. The second time we matched, he asked me to go to The Slipper Clutch, a really niche metal club. That completely sealed the deal!
[JON:] I was feeling so burnt out from work and run down. I think sometimes the expectation of the date doesn't feel worth the effort. That’s what made me cancel.
[05, MAURA:] Dating is intuitive. You have to trust yourself, your vibe, and your body. I had no good reason to unfollow him on Instagram; he had four posts on socials, and that was a green flag.
Not that it was working all that well for Maura. Things had been going great for a second there. She’d gone to Prague to shoot a music video for her friend’s band, but it was there that she contracted shingles. Silk sheets. A satin robe. An assortment of ointments. None of it made shingles even slightly tolerable. She’d always believed in fate, in energies and intentions, in the matrix of cause-and-effects that could reasonably be called karma, but as her skin burned, her belief in such things was curling at the edges and burning with it.
It should be established that, at the time of Maura’s shingles, and shortly after Jon being dumped, in both their pockets, in their phones, they already had met each other, in a way—they’d matched on Hinge, had added each other on social media, had even set a date to meet. But Jon had canceled. He’d set the date on Valentine’s Day, which was unremarkable to Maura but, to Jon, seemed an embarrassing oversight.
Jon asked for a rain check.04He was feeling cruddy, he said. They forgot each other. That sounds melodramatic, but it’s not uncommon in the world of modern dating. Maura stopped using Hinge, and then she got shingles, and the two’s romantic potential seemed destined for the dusty digital shelf of modern dating, social media.
[04, MAURA:] This is such an LA problem, but the first time Jon asked me out, it was to 4100 Bar. That immediately put me off. The second time we matched, he asked me to go to The Slipper Clutch, a really niche metal club. That completely sealed the deal!
[JON:] I was feeling so burnt out from work and run down. I think sometimes the expectation of the date doesn't feel worth the effort. That’s what made me cancel.
That’s what it was to Maura, anyway, who went on an unfollowing spree from her sickbed. Call it spring cleaning. Call it a bit petulant, her way of striking back against the universe that, despite all her attempts at manifesting, had given her nothing but situationships and shingles.
Still, there was an opportunity there. She decided to take this time to clarify things, recenter herself, remove emotional clutter. Hence the follower purge. But something (to this day, she isn’t sure what) made her pause on Jon’s profile, that cute guy with the glasses from Hinge.05And maybe it was seeing him that inspired her to redownload the app, an act that ran counter to her whole idea of ascetic solitude. Maybe she would give karma one more shot.
[05, MAURA:] Dating is intuitive. You have to trust yourself, your vibe, and your body. I had no good reason to unfollow him on Instagram; he had four posts on socials, and that was a green flag.
Situationships and shingles? I haven’t seen that movie!
[JON:] My favorite thing about Maura is how unapologetic she is. She made it so easy to be myself because she compromised nothing about herself.
Situationships and shingles? I haven’t seen that movie!
What are the chances they’d both have those tattoos?
[MAURA:] We matched in January, and I got shingles. We matched in May and went on five dates in 10 days. Then we stopped again. We were falling in love but couldn’t see each other due to travel plans. The pause felt intentional, not just circumstantial. It wasn't a ramp-up where you get carried away; we had time to communicate, think, and talk, which really revealed our potential. We ended up meeting at an airport in between travel plans and sharing our first kiss. From there, it just felt intuitive.
[06, MAURA:] It was an ‘Omg, this is cosmic’ moment, but I was more skeptical, doing mental gymnastics and fighting finding significance in that commonality. I didn't want the tattoo to be significant because it made me scared.
[JON:] I felt immediately understood. The tattoos meant that the same things were important to us, and we wanted to honor them in the same way. It was like we had been sharing the same brain long before we ever met.
Then the two matched a second time in May, as slightly different people (slight differences can mean the world in dating).
“You again,” a shingles-free Maura said.
What’s important to know here is that, had the two met on Valentine’s Day, Jon and Maura agree, nothing would have worked out. Jon wasn’t over being dumped. Maura hadn’t yet come out on the other side of shingles. Plus, it was winter. Had they not matched a second time, had they not set another date at a speakeasy, had it still been winter, had they been wearing sweaters instead of short sleeves, then perhaps they would have missed the tattoos on their left arms.
Maura’s was of an ash tree branch, for Ash Road, for the ash trees that lined the street she grew up on. Jon’s read WOODLAND, like the sign his mother had stolen for him, the one hanging in his Los Angeles apartment. The two were astonished that they both had tributes to the streets of their childhood homes on their left arms.06But, as it turned out, it was just one of the many things they had in common: another good omen, a sign from the cosmos (albeit an uncanny one).
[06, MAURA:] It was an ‘Omg, this is cosmic’ moment, but I was more skeptical, doing mental gymnastics and fighting finding significance in that commonality. I didn't want the tattoo to be significant because it made me scared.
[JON:] I felt immediately understood. The tattoos meant that the same things were important to us, and we wanted to honor them in the same way. It was like we had been sharing the same brain long before we ever met.
Let us return to fate, to constellations: in both cases, every little part matters. Jon setting the first date on Valentine’s Day. Maura’s shingles. Two tattoos, two complicated houses on two streets in America many miles apart. Maybe every love story is like that. Unlikely. Fragile. It can feel that way to those still looking for a love story on their own, can feel that love is elusive, easily snuffed out, that there is a great deal of luck involved, that one needs destiny on their side.
Or maybe love is more resilient than all that. Maybe it’s like the tree in the backyard of Maura’s childhood home. Maybe everything could have gone wrong, and it would have grown anyway.
[MAURA:] We matched in January, and I got shingles. We matched in May and went on five dates in 10 days. Then we stopped again. We were falling in love but couldn’t see each other due to travel plans. The pause felt intentional, not just circumstantial. It wasn't a ramp-up where you get carried away; we had time to communicate, think, and talk, which really revealed our potential. We ended up meeting at an airport in between travel plans and sharing our first kiss. From there, it just felt intuitive.
What are the chances they’d both have those tattoos?
LOVE RELICS
[MAURA:] This was a Bolo tie I made for Jon really early into our relationship when were forced to spend some time apart because of travel. We hadn’t defined what we were at all and were figuring it out. I had made a list of all these things that I wanted in a partner, and one of them was that I just wanted him to have a desert Punk Vibe, which suited Jon so much, so I decided to make him this bolo tie. It was also kind of me putting my heart on the line because we weren’t anything yet, and this was a gesture of me wanting to move things forward. We were crossing paths in LA, and we managed to meet up at the airport. I gave him this tie... and that’s when we had our first kiss!
[MAURA:] After we finally ended up in the same city and officially started seeing each other, Jon booked us an impromptu trip to the Madonna Inn, which I had been dying to do myself. It was kind of our honeymoon, in a way. We road-tripped out there and spent the weekend together, and it was when we both told each other, “I love you.”
[MAURA:] This man is so sentimental! This is something he made and just sits on his desk. Jon’s a Virgo, and I bought him that patch at a thrift store for a dollar. The photos are from a photobooth at El Cid Bar from one of our early dates. The drink tokens are from when I was reading tarot at the Goldfish, and I had free drinks, and I’d given them to him the night he asked me out. He kept one in his wallet and has kept it there since he asked me to be his girlfriend, and the second one he put in this frame. So they’re just genuinely relics of our relationship!
[MAURA:] Jon writes me a lot of notes; you can see all the nicknames he has for me on these.
[MAURA:] Jon had been feeling down on his luck for quite some time before we met, so he bought this horseshoe necklace because he’s Irish and thought it would help. We went on our first date shortly after, and he told me it felt like his good luck charm. I kind of stole it and started wearing it, and then eventually told him I wanted my own as a locket so we could match and I could carry him with me.
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![Three small pieces of torn lined paper with handwritten notes that read: "My Valentine [heart symbol]," "Mocy Booy," and "Miss Mo" on a light purple background.](/JON_AND_MAURA_RELIC_5.a52dc3a6.png)
